GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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