Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
smell my finger.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
