Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
