Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
