a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
