I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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