Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
