Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
