My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
