Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
