Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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