omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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