Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
