never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
