I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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