"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
