I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you inspire me to be a worse person
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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