Your mouth is God's brothel.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
