Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
