i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
