I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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