Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
