census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Randomize
