i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
