who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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