I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
