cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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