Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
