I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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