He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
3 2 1 whiskey
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
