why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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