Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
