hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
