Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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