I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
