I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize