I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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