I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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