if i can run in heels then i can drive
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
