Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
