just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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