is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize