Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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