He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
