We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
