dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
