I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
