Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
