is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
