It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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