fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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