OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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