I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
