i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
