Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
