is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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