Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
