: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize