Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
