belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
