this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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