Your face is a jimmy john
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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